elkit in wonderland

I Just Hope You Understand Sometimes The Clothes Do Not Make The Man*

Just got back from seeing Eddie Izzard, and I'm still chuckling inwardly. What a great show! Beautiful old theatre, nice stage set-up, and Eddie looking very manly wearing a goatee and a gorgeous black swallowtail coat with burgundy red lining - I just wanted to lick that thing, it looked so delightful!

He said he was going to talk about everything, and he did - dinosaur poetry, jazz chickens with trumpets tied to their beaks, intelligent design, with which he had two problems: the "intelligent" part and the "design" part, the greatness of Wikipedia which was founded by Mr. and Mrs. Wikipedia, and how having a Macintosh makes you sexy. And he even pulled his iPhone out of his back pocket and demonstrated his light saber app.

And he kept quoting a Roman messenger seeking clarification, "Quod the fuck?" I'm not doing it justice, obviously - if I could, I would be up on stage myself. I'm just here to tell you it was great, and you're missing out.

* Why did I pick this line from George Michael's "Freedom 90" for the title? It was playing during intermission, and is still playing in my head.

Never Touch That Switch

Anil Dash, who has fine linguistic sensibilities, talks about language(s) in entertainment and politics (which, these days, is getting hard to tell apart):

Linguists use the phrase "code switching" to refer to the act of using more than one language when speaking. As someone who grew up in a multilingual household, I'm intimately familiar with code-switching, and one of the most interesting traits about the practice is not merely how easy it is for people to switch language on the fly, but rather how the choice of language actually informs the meaning and the nuance of the words being said.

This gets even more pronounced if we use an expansive definition of the idea of "code switching" and include switching between dialects of the same language. Then, we can look at some familiar examples to learn from them.

For example, Oprah Winfrey is an extremely successful businesswoman, obviously well-versed in the General American or Standard American English that's the language of business in this country. But Oprah regularly and effortlessly code switches to AAVE (also known as "Black English" or, to its detractors, ebonics) on her show or in various media appearances. Though her use of the dialect is clearly sincere and authentic, it's also obviously a savvy way to stay connected to audiences with whom she wants to maintain a particular resonance or credibility. In short, code switching is an efficient way to target a particular message to a particular group without explicitly telling the world that's who you're speaking to. The context makes it obvious.

We see George W. Bush do the same thing regularly, as well. No man who has an MBA from Harvard and grew up among the most privileged families in the United States can be unaware that "smoke 'em out" isn't Standard American English. That's not to say his use of folksy sayings is merely a put-on, but rather that it's a linguistic choice he makes in some settings, and with the same goal as Oprah: He's speaking directly to a particular audience in a way that resonates with them as credible, and signifies to others that they're not the target audience for his words.

Rebel Rebel, How Could They Know?

Did you know that the term "maverick" was an eponym, based on a family name? I didn't. NYTimes says:

In the 1800s, Samuel Augustus Maverick went to Texas and became known for not branding his cattle. He was more interested in keeping track of the land he owned than the livestock on it, Ms. Maverick said; unbranded cattle, then, were called “Maverick’s.” The name came to mean anyone who didn’t bear another’s brand.

Sam Maverick’s grandson, Fontaine Maury Maverick, was a two-term congressman and a mayor of San Antonio who lost his mayoral re-election bid when conservatives labeled him a Communist. He served in the Roosevelt administration on the Smaller War Plants Corporation and is best known for another coinage. He came up with the term “gobbledygook” in frustration at the convoluted language of bureaucrats.

We Might As Well Be Strangers

Just saw this in today's San Jose Mercury News: Majority of Santa Clara County families speak foreign language at home.

After decades of immigration from Asia and Latin America, Silicon Valley has hit a linguistic milestone that is rare in America: For the first time, a majority of Santa Clara County residents speak a language other than English at home.

In 2007, Santa Clara was one of just 10 counties in the United States where more than 50 percent of residents speak a foreign language at home, according to new U.S. Census Bureau data being released today.

It's one of many reasons I love living here.

Oh, and me? My household languages are English, German and Catinese.

Listen Like Thieves ... But Who Needs That

From America's Finest News Source: Idiom Shortage Leaves Nation All Sewed Up In Horse Pies

WASHINGTON—A crippling idiom shortage that has left millions of Americans struggling to express themselves spread like tugboat hens throughout the U.S. mainland Tuesday in an unparalleled lingual crisis that now has the entire country six winks short of an icicle.

...

[Harvard University linguistics professor Dr. Howard] Albright said that citizens in the South and West have been hit by the dearth of idioms like babies bite the bedpost, with people in those colorful expression–heavy regions unable to speak about anything related to rain storms, misers, sensations associated with nervousness, difficult or ironic predicaments, surprise at a younger relative's rapid increase in height, or love. In some areas, what few idioms remain are being bartered or sold at exorbitant prices. And, Albright claims, unless something is done before long to dry out the cinnamon jars, residents of Texas may soon cease speaking altogether.

"These people are desperate," said Albright, gesturing with his hands to indicate the severity of the problem there. "We've never seen anything like it. Some are being forced to choose between feeding their family and praising especially talented professional athletes. It's as if—it's really—it is bad."

I'd Still Own The Film Rights And Be Working On The Sequel

McSweeney's draws attention to some of the ripple effects of the writers' strike:

Airline pilots

Lack of scripts means pilots are unable to perform "welcome from the cabin" announcements, which are customarily lengthy, loquacious, and infuriatingly drawn out. Having dedicated their careers to the complex task of operating commercial aircraft, pilots reveal themselves to be woefully inept at extemporaneous speaking, as their attempts ("We're in air. High up. Weather. No crash. Temperature!") prove disastrous. Filled with self-loathing, pilots refuse to leave their homes and eventually die. All air travel ends.

Pet-store owners

Without the assistance of professional writers, such droll puns as "purrfect pets" prove impossible, leaving shopkeepers to describe their offerings as "perfect pets." This results in unrealistic expectations being placed on the pets. Eventually, an acrimonious pet/owner dynamic emerges that proves impossible to overcome. After a surprisingly short period of time, cats say, you know, fuck this shit and they leave. The human/cat arrangement, which, to be honest, has been on thin ice for centuries, finally collapses and the domestication of the cat ends.

Isn't It Ironic - Don't You Think?

Here is a fine assembly of 9 Words That Don't Mean What You Think.

The English language is under assault by stupid people who use words they don't understand, and is defended by pompous asses who like to correct those people. We're not sure who to side with.

So, here are some words that you'll see used incorrectly on a daily basis, and a helpful guide as to just how big of a dick you'd have to be to correct people on it. We have also included many pictures of these words being read by women with large boobs.

Thanks for the link, Minnie! Methinks I must start reading Cracked.com regularly.

Before The Bullfight

Clearing out the backlog of draft posts that have collected here in the last couple of months.

The Smirking Chimp asks: How's Your Bullshit Detector?

For those of you who do not know, it may be worth saying that the phrase, "crap-detecting," originated with Ernest Hemingway who when asked if there were one quality needed, above all others, to be a good writer, replied, "Yes, a built-in, shock-proof, crap detector."

Why Don't You Come With Me, Little Girl, On A Magic Carpet Ride

William Gibson on writing, in an interview with the Washington Post:

I make black marks on a white surface and someone else in another location looks at them and interprets them and sees a spaceship or whatever. It's magic.

I Love The Way You Move

I have to lift another thing from arse poetica, to post here, and explain later why it spoke to me so.

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.

--Theodore Roethke, "The Waking"

I learn by going where I have to go. That is SO true! Quoting someone else who feels that way: Some people need to see in order to move - I need to move in order to see.