The fuck is this? You're still hassling me about New Year's resolutions? Alright then. Fine. I got yer New Year's resolutions right heah:
I resolve to:
• be rude much more often
• swear a lot more. Be polite? Fuck that!
• exercise only when I fuckin' feel like it
• not be everybody's sunshine any more. I'm taking a sabbatical.
••• And while I'm at it, I shall also abdicate my title of chocolate fairy. Get your own friggin chocolate!
Say what? I am being bitchy? Fuck yeah! It's going to be the Year of the Bitch, after all. Yes, I know, it's not quite here yet. The Year of the Cock is almost over, and I say goodbye and good riddance gladly. I had high hopes for the Year of the Cock, but I am sure you have heard a thing or two about the best-laid plans. It's all true. Well, yes, this is true too - I had great sex. GREAT sex.
Twice.
Disappointing turnout, non?